


I Imagine Your Dead Body

by BebopHeadshop



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Bittersweet Ending, Blood and Gore, Human/Vampire Relationship, M/M, Melancholy, Panic Attacks, Past Ferdinand von Aegir/Marianne von Edmund, Past Marianne von Edmund/Hilda Valentine Goneril, Trauma, no smut rated e for gore and descriptions of violence, vampire!ferdinand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:48:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24264604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BebopHeadshop/pseuds/BebopHeadshop
Summary: One day, Hubert asks Ferdinand to turn him into vampire. Ferdinand knows how this will end.cw: Detailed descriptions of blood, gore, and violence
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir & Edelgard von Hresvelg, Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra
Comments: 20
Kudos: 79





	1. Simple, Effortless, Obvious

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration taken from the song "Being Human," by Bent Knee, who have since become my go-to band for Ferdibert inspiration. The title of the fic is taken from lyrics from the song.

“It will be a lot like what you imagine death to be, I presume.”

Hubert placed his tea cup down, too roughly and too loudly if the slight crease in Ferdinand's smile was to be believed. Even the knife and tea pot sitting in the center of the table seemed vexed by the motion, agitating slightly before settling back down. Hubert readjusted his legs, folding one over the other and sowing further disruption in the process by disturbing the pale cloth draped over the small table. 

“I _imagine_ that there has to be more to it than that; it’s a spell is it not?”

“Mhmm,” Ferdinand hummed. He reached forward and picked up his own teacup. His long, perfectly filed nails scraped against the cup as he brought it to his lips. Over the golden rim Ferdinand watched him with crimson eyes, nails thrumming a staccato tune on the cup as he sipped.

Hubert furrowed his eyebrows. 

Even when Ferdinand decided to be _challenging_ , the alluring way those crimson eyes followed his every move still made it difficult to view him negatively, even though he recognized that he was in the “den of a demon” as others had referred to this manor. But Hubert knew exactly what, no- who - lived in this manor. He had come to know the man behind the label, someone who was kind enough to take in a half-dead wretch who’d collapsed on his doorstep. When Hubert had initially regained consciousness after his brush with death and found himself in an unfamiliar room surrounded by antique furniture belonging to cultures and degrees of wealth that he could hardly imagine, he had only found himself able to keep his eyes fixed on the red-haired man that had opened the door to the room moments later carrying food and salves for his wounds. 

Maybe the hunger and pain from the ordeal he had endured could excuse how he accepted the kindness with only a single moment’s hesitation, or how his gaze lingered on the ginger ringlets that framed his host’s face. But there was no excusing the moment weeks later, his body fully recovered, when he had invited Ferdinand to share his bed with him. Or the many times after when he’d find himself intertwining their fingers together, enjoying the soft scrape of long nails against his skin as they adjusted to fit in their proper place. Even now, when Ferdinand moved the delicately painted cup away from his lips, stained red, Hubert could only acknowledge that the shiver that worked its way up his spine was more anticipation than unease.

And those series of unexcused and unpunished oversights had led him here, to this moment when they’d decided to cast a spell and spend eternity together.

When they had woken up hours prior, the sun just a thinning barrier of light between the blue-black sky and the stretch of forest lining the horizon, Hubert had offered his blood to him. Ferdinand had never made the request before and had required multiple affirmations before he eventually agreed to it. 

When his fangs pierced the delicate skin on the inside of his outstretched wrist, Hubert had gasped and fought the reflex to recoil. Still, a lamented sigh escaped him when the fangs left his flesh just as quickly, replaced by a cold hand that squeezed his bleeding wrist over the teacup that now sat empty on the table before Ferdinand.

“Was that enough blood for it to work?” Hubert’s eyes darted again to the knife placed at the center of the table. “If you need more…”

The crimson eyes looked up to meet him, crinkled at the edges by a smile. “No that was quite enough.” With a flourish he pulled a handkerchief from his vest pocket and brought it to his lips. “To be frank, only a drop of your blood is required. The rest was just… an indulgence, in case...”

“In case..?”

Ferdinand paused for a moment. He leaned over the table, his elbows digging into the tablecloth in a manner that he would certainly have scolded Hubert for had he done it himself. When Ferdinand’s body began to tremble, Hubert extended a gloved hand over the table toward him. But before Hubert could reach him, Ferdinand threw his head back and erupted in laughter. 

“Oh, I am sorry, it is just that vampiric blood is sometimes _bitter_ , darling! I simply wanted to have a decent enough taste beforehand in case you turn out simply abhorrent after all of this is done and through!” He continued to laugh, using the handkerchief to dabble at his eyes and then his red-tinged lips.

“This may be amusing to you Ferdinand, but my intention is to survive this.”

Ferdinand’s laughter ceased. He returned the handkerchief to his pocket, resting his linked hands under his chin and fixing his eyes and his attention on Hubert once more. 

“Are there any other details that I need to know? Is there something I have to do to ensure that I awaken?”

The corners of Ferdinand’s lips curled up slightly, providing a flash of his fangs. “You _just_ have to die. Come now, dear, it is not the most difficult thing for a human to accomplish, you know?”

Hubert diverted his gaze and crossed his arms.

“You are… anxious.” Ferdinand sighed and stood up, walking around the table in a few short strides. Hubert felt his hands settle on his shoulders. Ferdinand’s fingernails thrummed softly over his shirt, coaxing soft shivers out of Hubert’s body. Ginger waves draped around him as Ferdinand bent down to his ear, his lips teasing the flesh there as they brushed against it. “But the process is not complicated, my love.”

Hubert shuddered as Ferdinand’s lips moved up from his ear and pressed a soft kiss to his temple.

He turned his head to the side, facing Ferdinand. He cupped his cheek with his hand, the white glove barely distinguishable from Ferdinand's pallid skin. Pale green eyes met their crimson counterparts. 

“Then, at the very least, tell me what it was like for you, Fer-”

But he never heard the answer, never even had the chance to finish the question before pain ripped through his neck.

Hubert’s face slammed against the table as his body fell forward and slumped against it. His own teacup had been knocked over, its brown contents rushing out and weaving into the ivory tablecloth. Hubert’s eyes traced the pattern as it formed. It moved steadily, separating and reforming like rivers on a map, continuing further and further down until it met the crimson sea that he himself was haphazardly painting with arrhythmic splatters from his neck. 

He tried to move his head, to roll over, to keep as much blood within his body as he could. But he only managed to rotate his head a degree to the side as his chin was sprayed with another spattering of blood.

His heavy eyes looked up, giving him a final look at the man before him. Ferdinand returned the bloodstained knife to the table before taking his seat across from Hubert once more. Hubert hadn’t even seen him grab it before it had torn into his flesh. Each jagged cut from the serrated edges stung as blood continued to pour from the wound. He began to cough weakly as he recognized the copper taste billowing further and further up his throat, just now beginning to spill out of his mouth. Ferdinand’s lips parted then, but Hubert couldn’t hear the words over his sputtering coughs, if any were spoken at all.

When Hubert succumbed to death, those crimson eyes were still trained on him. 

**…**

_You have to want to come back_ , was one of the answers he had considered giving Hubert. It was what he had told the many others long before this black haired man had arrived practically lifeless at his doorstep. A wish that was repeated so many times before he’d nursed this one back to health, learned his name, and heard his own name emerge from those thin lips in between shuddered breaths.

But giving them that answer never seemed to change the outcome. Ferdinand had only spared himself another sardonic look from Hubert.

He hesitantly settled the body on the bed, the gnarled wound on its neck a bright crimson smile that goaded him into imagining that the body it belonged to would ever rise again.

None of them had returned to their bodies after he’d consumed their blood, killed them, and begun the spell. Each time he waited for them to rise he was reminded of his own reawakening, how quickly he himself had drifted back to his body. The darkness and haze of death had been interrupted. He had regained consciousness and found himself floating above his body. Despite the garish hole in his chest he had looked… content. Asleep, the wrinkles he so dreaded were nowhere to be found on his face. He closed his eyes and felt himself be pulled further and further upwards into the darkness that surrounded him. But he had dared another peek, a final goodbye. He looked down again and saw that his sire lay next to him, her silver hair pooling around her body as she brushed stray locks from his face. She had looked... remorseful. It was an expression that had contorted her face into one unfamiliar to him, another piece he'd been given in solving the puzzle that was his sire.

And suddenly, he found himself drifting back to her. Slowly and steadily at first, but then propelled faster when he noticed the wet trails glinting her cheeks. The dream-like haze had abruptly ended when he collided with his body. He had only been dead for about an hour, she admitted when his eyes fluttered open, the new coloring mirroring her own. It was the one thing his sire had commended him on surpassing herself in.

_“Then, at the very least, tell me what it was like for you, Fer-”_

_It was simple, effortless,_ **_obvious_** , he had wanted to scream back at Hubert. 

But the only change that would occur once he uttered those words would be the predestined one; Hubert would die. So Ferdinand had slashed the knife against his throat before he had to force the words out and be left with the faint aftertaste of regret once again.

Ferdinand settled on the other side of the bed, lying down next to the rapidly cooling body. Both of their forms seemed to be enveloped by the plush sheets, melding deeper into the bedding as it settled around them.

Ferdinand closed his eyes and waited.

 _Maybe it would be like the last one_ , he pondered. _After some time he’d wake up and turn his head to the side, the heavy scent of decay filling his nostrils long before his atrophied eyes could open to distinguish the gray mass of flesh from the yellowed bone. He’d move to rise and would startle the body. The head would roll toward him, freeing itself from the spine as the first vertebrae splintered away and dissolved into dust. The jaw would again dislodge from the skull with a soft crack and reveal a gaping, flesh-less maw that would bid him a silent good morning._

He usually caught them before the decay had progressed to that point. He’d pick them up and carry them away, the bodies typically surviving the journey from his bedroom to the graveyard behind his manor in one piece. But he had been sure about her. 

So when her flesh clung to his sheets he buried her with them, the one thing she couldn’t let go of from this world.

Hubert would be like the others who made that choice. They’d realized that he wasn’t Edelgard, that he wasn’t a force tethering them to this world like she was, and they would float on and on, looking down at him as they let the tide pull them back further away.

Ferdinand felt the burning sensation of bile slowly moving its way up his throat, a warning to open his eyes now. But he kept them closed shut, swallowing the bitter taste back down. His hands clenched at his chest, protracted and beastly nails digging into his flesh, probing for his lulling heart.

**...**

It had been hours at least, he was sure. Almost a full day. 

He pondered when that mocking crimson smile would fade away from his memory, when the skin on its mouth would shrivel back and reveal teeth long since disconnected from the muscle that could ever make them grin, ever make them graze his own skin again. Never again would those lips whisper beguiling sweet-nothings that deluded him into trying and trying and trying again after all this time. 

Ferdinand waited. 

_Those hours would become years, those years decades, those decades centuries._

Ferdinand waited.

He wondered when time would again mean nothing at all and everything at once.

Ferdinand waited.

  
  
  
And then the body beside him stirred.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was considering making this one a multichap, but I like where it ends. But I still have ideas floating around about it, so who knows?
> 
> Edit: It's a multichap now :^)


	2. Pick Up Your Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hubert wakes up and begins to adjust to his life as a vampire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: The same warnings from the previous chapter apply here, plus trauma-related panic attacks.
> 
> On the bright side, they at least get to smooch this chapter.

When Hubert awoke, it was silent.

When he opened his eyes, the foggy darkness that he expected to find swirling around him was nowhere to be seen. 

And when he scanned the ceiling above him, all he saw was the canopy of the bed that he now rested on. He knew that he’d seen it before and yet trying to place where or when made his head throb.

It was then that he realized that the murky fog wasn’t truly gone, that it had instead shifted to his head. It swirled around his mind, making it difficult to grasp onto any of his thoughts or memories before they were swallowed and disappeared within its depths.

So, he hadn’t really woken up. He was still floating in that darkness, each thought slipping away from him as he began to lose himself in the darkness.

He stirred. His hands groped at the sheets beneath his fingers, searching for anything tangible to hold on to, to keep him from floating away again.

And then suddenly, copper locks consumed his vision and he’d found his tether once more.

Ferdinand lay over him, his arms and legs trapping him on either side. As he opened his mouth to speak, tears emerged from the corners of his eyes, sliding down his cheeks and leaving a wet trail of featherlight kisses down Hubert’s face.

“You awoke,” he said, his words barely audible despite how close they were. His hand roamed over Hubert’s face, down his neck and to his chest, pausing just long enough so that he could feel his heartbeat. Hubert tentatively raised one of his own hands, placing it over Ferdinand’s. He applied pressure, pushing both of their hands down onto his chest until the tell-tale sting of pain confirmed it.

The fog began to lift ever so slowly. 

“I’m… back, Ferdie.”

Ferdinand closed the small distance between them, his lips finding Hubert’s own as he pressed his body against him. The rush of the rapidly deepening kiss forced his body to begin waking up from its extended slumber. Slowly the drowsiness and muddled senses that had defined his brief foray into death began to fade away into exhilarating alertness as he became aware of Ferdinand’s chest pressed against his, of his thighs cradling Hubert’s hips. His tongue probed at Ferdinand’s mouth until he felt his lover’s jaw relax and yield to him, giving him entry. But this time as their tongues danced, a faint taste mixed in with the usual sweetness of Ferdinand’s mouth elicited a new hunger that joined Hubert’s familiar cravings.

Hubert pulled back from the kiss and sat up as blood began to leak into his mouth. Along with the sudden bleeding came a sharp pain, as if his teeth were extending further and further down, threatening to break free and tear through his gums as they dislodged from his skull.

He covered his mouth with his hand, the white glove quickly beginning to stain crimson.

“W-what’s happening?” he managed between mouthfuls of blood.

Ferdinand’s tears were replaced by a smile.

“Your fangs are pushing through is all. Give it about a minute and you will feel much better, I promise.” He emphasized his words by rubbing his hand up and down Hubert’s back. His fingernails lightly grazed over the thin fabric of Hubert’s shirt, drawing a soft shudder out of him.

But despite Ferdinand’s attempt at distraction, the pain only seemed to be increasing. His teeth felt like they were simultaneously being pushed together and pulled apart, as if his whole jaw was rearranging itself. Every few seconds the pain would dissipate, only for whatever demented force that controlled the process to become unhappy with the new configuration, beginning the cycle all over again until it reached another equally unsatisfying arrangement.

When the pain finally plateaued, the fangs broke through, pushing a sigh through Hubert’s lips as his jaw finally settled and relaxed.

Ferdinand reached over and tilted his head towards him. “Better, my love?” he asked. His eyes scanned Hubert’s face.

Hubert tested his new jaw and braved a smile. He nodded.

Tentatively, Hubert rolled his tongue over his new fangs. As his tongue slipped across the long curve and briefly caught on the pointed end, he realized that he recognized the sensation. Pushing his way through the fog, he remembered the amount of time he had spent with his tongue entrapped in Ferdinand’s mouth over the past few months, in the process slowly becoming accustomed to the sharp prick that even the slightest pressure from his tongue elicited. But this time, as his tongue slid around his fangs, he found the urge to avoid them dampened by the desire to skewer his tongue and have another taste of his own blood.

Hubert glanced at Ferdinand and found him watching him silently.

“What ish it?” he asked, slightly caught off guard by the curious sensation of his words tripping as they slipped past his new fangs.

Ferdinand smiled. “Avoid biting your tongue dear. It is rather painful and unfortunately common among new vampires. And besides,” he replied, unbuttoning his right cuff and slowly rolling up his sleeve. With his left hand still rubbing soft circles in Hubert’s back, he raised the other and angled his wrist towards Hubert's mouth. “You should have your first meal. Please, drink.”

Hubert's eyes trailed away from Ferdinand’s face and to his outstretched arm. They followed the swollen veins that lined his forearm, the vessels undulating ever so slightly as each beat of his heart propelled blood through them. Hubert’s hands instinctively reached up, one gripping Ferdinand’s outstretched forearm as the other cradled his hand. Hubert looked to the right, watching Ferdinand as he slowly brought his lips to his wrist.

“There you are,” he heard Ferdinand hiss as his fangs pierced the skin. “Enjoy, my love.” 

The taste of his own blood that Hubert had received when he had kissed Ferdinand and when his own fangs had pushed through his gums was nothing compared to the rush he felt as Ferdinand’s blood pooled in his mouth. Warm and savory, and so, so much. He lapped and sucked at the bite he made, indulging in mouthful after mouthful as it constantly flowed. Some blood escaped the corner of his mouth as he indulged, slipping out and staining his jaw. He cast another glance at Ferdinand, embarrassed by his own undignified display, but too ravenous to stop. Ferdinand still wore that familiar smile, but something hidden in the pools of his crimson eyes tainted the taste of the blood in Hubert's mouth.

Hubert pulled away from Ferdinand’s bleeding wrist, the evidence of his bite staining the sheets. He shook his head repeatedly, trying to dispel that fog that threatened to cloud his mind once more. 

“Did something happen while I was away for… Ferdie, exactly _how_ long was I gone?” he asked, remembering the tears that had dotted Ferdinand’s face the moment he had awakened.

Ferdinand pulled his wrist back to his chest. His eyes observed the bite mark, watching as the small red wounds shriveled and closed within seconds. “About a day.”

Hubert placed a hand to his forehead. “It felt… much longer than that.”

“Yes, but you found your way back.” He rested a hand on Hubert’s shoulder.

“It wasn’t as simple as you made it out to be though… trying to find you in that hellish darkness...”

“But you _did_ ,” he replied, cradling Hubert’s face in his hands. “You came back to me and that is all that matters now!”

Hubert brought his hands to Ferdinand’s wrists, wrapping his fingers around both of them. “There’s something else that’s been bothering me as well,” Hubert said, the moments before his death beginning to push through the fog.

Ferdinand’s fingers pressed into Hubert’s face, his smile retreating ever so slightly.

“A-and what do you mean by that..?”

Hubert smiled. 

“You don’t taste bitter at all. Appallingly I find myself quite fond of the sweetness, if you can believe that.”

Ferdinand laughed, strong and bright, as he tipped his head back. His fingers relaxed against Hubert’s face, sliding down and settling on his shoulders. Hubert watched Ferdinand’s throat as his head fell back, catching sight of the vein lining the side of his neck and dipping into his collarbone. Brief flashes of Ferdinand melting in his arms as he kissed _that_ spot resurfaced in his mind.

He leaned in to kiss it, but his fangs found Ferdinand’s throat instead.

Something between a moan and a sigh escaped Ferdinand as he relaxed against Hubert, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. The blood was faster flowing here and he lapped at it furiously. And beyond that, with Ferdinand’s arms wrapped around him and his long hair tickling his face as he drank, he was entirely consumed by his presence. Hubert’s hands tangled in the long tresses, tugging just tightly enough to expose more of the expanse of his neck. The scent of Ferdinand’s skin overwhelmed him as he left another bite to join the prior one. He was treated to more of Ferdinand’s moans, scarcely coherent terms of endearment smothered between them. _My love, darling, dearest,_ Ferdinand’s words echoed in his mind. In that moment, Hubert felt that he belonged to Ferdinand in his entirety; his body, his heart, _his blood_ all belonged to him. 

And then, Hubert realized that he wanted to find out too how it felt to be at the mercy of Ferdinand’s fangs, his lifeforce seeping into his lover and sating him in a way that only he could. He imagined the sting that would ripple through his neck as the fangs sunk in, how Ferdinand’s tongue would feel as it glided over his skin as he drank and indulged. Hubert imagined how the pull of his blood escaping from the bite would feel, the sting as it grazed the twin kisses of Ferdinand’s fangs and seeped and sputtered from his neck, splattering his chin as he slumped forward and his head slammed against the table and-

Hubert recoiled from Ferdinand, his fangs ripping through the tender flesh on his neck as his head jerked away. His hands untangled themselves from the copper locks, instead seeking out and gripping his own neck. But there was no jagged, leaking wound. He squeezed and squeezed but the blood that he was sure would begin to sputter was nowhere to be found. 

_Hubert! Hubert, breathe..!_

He thought he heard Ferdinand’s voice, but it was difficult to make out through the gasps that had suddenly filled the room. Hands squeezed at both his wrists, trying to force his own away from his neck. But he dug his fingernails in, the seams in his gloves pulling away through the effort and threatening to give.

_Hubert, stop!_

And suddenly, his hands were pried from his neck. The crushing force wrenched his wrists unnaturally and with a sharp snap, they cracked, leaving his hands dangling like broken branches.

He would’ve screamed if he had the air to sacrifice for it.

But before any noise could escape him, his wrists began to pulsate. As if bound by a tether, the wrists began to right themselves, the bones melding back together, the bloodied and reddened skin at the joint regaining its pallid color. The pain that threatened to overwhelm him dissipated away and he finally allowed air to refill his lungs.

Ferdinand watched as Hubert tentatively massaged his wrists, rotating them slightly as he confirmed that they were truly attached. Slowly he lifted his hands to Hubert’s face, his thumb rolling over his blood stained jaw as his other fingers held the back of his neck steady.

He smiled, just enough to reveal the dimples dotting his cheeks. “We have died once, and we should not suffer for it any longer.”

A choked sound escaped Hubert, and he momentarily wondered why his throat was still tight if his broken wrists had already righted themselves.

“Is that why you slit my throat like livestock? So I wouldn’t suffer?”

Ferdinand winced. His hands immediately drew back away from Hubert and towards his own chest, his nails bundling the fabric as they curled against it.

“Hubert...”

“What of your promise of a tender death? Did you decide at the last minute that I was unworthy of that?”

“Hubert, I-”

“What of your love for me..?” He whispered, less a condemnation and more a somber acceptance.

Red bloomed around Ferdinand’s fingers as they clenched impossibly tight, the nails digging into his flesh. His mouth opened as if he meant to scream, but when his head fell forward against Hubert’s chest, only a choked sob escaped him. His hair obscured his face from Hubert’s view but couldn’t conceal the tremors that shook his body.

“You were not supposed to wake up.”

A single tear fell and disappeared into the piles of red hair before him. Hubert accepted the small consolation that Ferdinand didn’t have the gall to tell him that to his face. 

“Did you mean to sabotage the spell..?” 

Ferdinand’s hands gripped the front of Hubert’s shirt. “No, no.. I made sure that everything was done right.”

“You told me you’d done this before.”

“Multiple times. I have _always_ performed it correctly.”

“And yet…”

The silence of the manor was enough of an answer.

Hubert felt Ferdinand startle as he lowered his head, resting his own atop Ferdinand’s. His lips disturbed the strands that sprouted from the top of Ferdinand’s head as he opened his mouth to speak. “So, the others you spoke of didn’t leave this manor then? Well, they didn’t leave alive at least, or whatever you call _this_ ,” he hissed.

Another silent sob racked Ferdinand’s body.

Hubert took a deep breath.

“Did you truly think I would leave you for good..? Did my confessions of love mean anything to you..?”

Ferdinand finally sat up and looked up at him, ginger ringlets separating to reveal equally reddened cheeks marred by slick tear trails. His mouth opened, but closed suddenly before any words emerged. He turned his head to the side, his bright tresses concealing his eyes from Hubert. 

“At the very least, you owe me an explanation, Ferdinand.”

A single bead of sweat rolled down the side of Ferdinand’s face, grazing his cheek before sliding over his jaw and disappearing beneath his collar. 

Slowly, he extended a hand out towards Hubert.

Hubert’s eyes trailed down to the hand briefly before returning to meet his eyes.

“It would be… easier to explain at the graveyard," Ferdinand finally said.

And although he’d finally received his punishment, the culmination of months of carelessness towards the man before him, Hubert still interlaced their fingers. As Ferdinand led them out of the bedroom and into the mahogany hall lined with paintings and tapestries, Hubert gave his hand a tight squeeze.

It was as much pain as he could give Ferdinand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was going to be longer, but I just decided to split it up based on my own preferences; the next chapter will be out pretty soon and give some info on the others Ferdie has tried to turn over the years.


	3. Death is One More Option to Explore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ferdinand recounts his time with Marianne, the last one he loved before Hubert, and comes to a realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: Assisted suicide

“Her name was Marianne… she was the last one before you.” Ferdinand began, finally breaking the silence that had hung over them since they had left the manor.

He had led Hubert outside and around the back of the building. With the moon still high in the sky they had little to fear as they made the short trek beyond the hill to where the stretch of forest began. Lilies of the valley dotted the trail that led them there. Their white petals glowed with a pale halo under the light of the full moon, tiny lanterns blinking against the smothering darkness. At the end of the trail, the pair had reached the graveyard.

When the very first one had died, Ferdinand dug her grave on the edge of the forest where she had spent her time exploring at night. She had adored the darkness and it brought out a jovial side of her, making it easy for her to transition to Ferdinand’s nocturnal schedule when she’d first decided to stay. It was why he had even offered her the chance at immortality in the first place. Edelgard was long gone and he was lonely, always craving the company of others. But living in such a secluded location and with his condition denying him any chance of a life in the daylight…well, he hadn’t wanted to withhold from anyone else the life that had been taken from him. 

_But she would be the perfect vampire,_ he had thought on that night so many centuries ago. He still remembered the way she glowed when she accepted his offer to spend an eternal night with him, his own beacon within the depths of eternity that stretched out before him.

When they had arrived at the graveyard, Ferdinand led Hubert past her grave, past the other twelve and to the “newest” addition, although it was three centuries old by this point. He had knelt down and carefully swept off the dust and grime with his hand, the dirt catching and clinging to his nails.

“She had left her home after the death of her wife and traveled through the forest until she reached this clearing. I was setting out for a ride when I first saw her, pink faced and teary-eyed, crying over a patch of these same lilies that her horse had trampled on her way here.”

Marianne had known what Ferdinand was the moment she had seen him. In fact she had purposefully set out for this manor, determined to pay for her crimes by surrendering herself to another monster. Later, she would show him the pink strands of hair she kept in the locket that rested over her heart. Later still he would show her the graveyard. 

Ferdinand heard Hubert shuffle behind him, the sound of leaves crumpling under his feet breaking the silence. But he said nothing, so Ferdinand continued.

“We would spend hours riding in the forest together, reminiscing about the lives we once had, the people we once loved. And we were in love, too, and determined to spend our lives together from that point on. Well, that’s what I thought, until…”

“Until she didn’t wake up.” Hubert’s voice cut through the night, sharp and commanding like a dagger aimed at his neck. Ferdinand didn’t turn around when he finally spoke, afraid the action would be the final provocation Hubert needed to plunge the dagger in his heart… or at least push it in further.

“Yes, until she decided not to wake up.”

Ferdinand reached over and plucked a lily of the valley growing by an adjacent gravestone, the face weathered by time and leaving no trace of the name it once bore. But that didn’t matter. The letters were still engraved in his mind and his heart. Just like all the others, if the pang he felt in his chest at just the thought of them was real. He brought the flower to his nose, inhaling the scent before placing it in front of Marianne’s grave. 

Marianne told him once that she didn’t have a favorite flower anymore, not after she’d used _that_ one to ease her wife into the arms of death, sparing her from the illness that had suddenly begun to ravage her body. Sometimes as they lay together in bed, sleep alluding them as it so often did, he’d find two of her delicate fingers pressed against his neck, and then at his wrist. Apparently the dose of poison she had given her wife worked fast. It didn’t take long for her heart to begin sputtering arrhythmically until it stopped altogether moments later. Marianne said that she had lied down next to the body afterwards, still checking its pulse, certain that the next time she woke up the nightmare would be over. And that’s how her neighbors had found her days later, cradled against the body, two fingers pressed against the cold neck. And so she had fled through the woods and found Ferdinand and his ghosts.

When he finally told her about the thirteen bodies in the graveyard, maybe that was when she realized that she’d found more of a monster than she could have imagined in the woods, one so deluded by any whispers of love that he’d kill and hurt again and again if it meant one more chance at happiness for himself.

When she smiled at him that final time, the same poisoned tea that her wife had drunk still wetting her lips and her blood still on his, maybe it wasn’t love for him curling the corners of her mouth, but relief.

Ferdinand stood up from the grave and turned to face Hubert.

“I thought I’d end up burying you here too, one year from now, maybe ten, maybe _one hundred._ As it always was.”

Hubert stepped closer. The moonlight reflected off of the sharpened edges of his face, made more severe by anger.

“So why not cut to the chase with a knife to the throat?”

Ferdinand wanted to wince again, to recoil, but it would all be for show at this point. They both already knew what he was.

“Exactly.” 

And then Ferdinand began to laugh and laugh and laugh. The scowl on Hubert’s face only grew more pronounced as he continued, but he found that he could no longer help it. It gurgled within his gut and billowed higher and higher. Not unlike bile, but it burned so much hotter and tasted so much worse in his mouth.

“And what does it matter now?!” Ferdinand exclaimed, his arms outstretched to the side, protracted nails glinting as they caught the moonlight that slipped through the treetops. "You are leaving anyway, so go!”

There wouldn’t be any fog for him to blame, no alluring call of death to be at fault for stealing his love away from him this time, if it ever did at all. Hubert would leave him in a decidedly unmagical way, made more severe and permanent by its mundanity.

Hubert rushed forward, clearing the distance between them in less than a second. Their eyes bore into each other, mirrored in color and fury.

“So you’ve just jumped to this conclusion and decided that’s what _I_ want? A life without you?”

“I cannot imagine why you would stay.”

“Ferdinand, hurt though I may be, even I cannot discard my feelings so rapidly… my heart still holds love for you.”

“As if I have not heard that one before!” Ferdinand yelled, but he forced the laughter back down his throat this time, waving his hand over the graves. "T _hat’s_ what they all said, and look where they are all now! Just rotted bones devoid of flesh, confined to the ground for the rest of eternity.”

Hubert stepped forward, one arm slowly reaching out to Ferdinand.

“No, no!” Ferdinand yelled, stepping back from Hubert. “Don’t you see? You can leave now too! Dead or alive, you’ll probably be better off for it.”

But still Hubert pressed forward. He raised a hand, pointing a finger at the scattered graves. 

" _They_ are the ones that left you! Whatever their reasons might’ve been, they were their own, and one’s they carried to their graves.” His hand fell back to his side, as if exhausted by the simple motion. “I am not them. I admit to feeling anger towards you, betrayal even, and maybe that will take time to reside, but... I wouldn’t have asked for an explanation for your actions if I didn’t still wish to stay by your side.”

Ferdinand pondered the words, turning them over and around in his head. But he wouldn’t let Hubert make that mistake. Hubert deserved better. All the others had realized it for themselves at some point, and he hadn’t even dragged a blade across their necks.

“I have been alive for over a millennia now, Hubert,” Ferdinand began, head falling forward as he closed his eyes. “And in all that time, all of the people I have loved decided that death was better than life with me. I should have realized so long ago that the problem was not them, not a lack of conviction on their part, but me.” And then he raised his head, meeting Hubert’s eyes once more as he rested a hand against his cheek.

Something flickered in Hubert’s eyes, but the brief glimmer was snuffed out as soon as Ferdinand spoke again. “You should make the right choice and leave as they did.”

Hubert sighed, his anger seemingly replaced by exhaustion. He took Ferdinand’s hand in his own. They gripped one another tightly, but their fingers never quite intertwined. 

“Why do you think yourself so unworthy of even the chance of forgiveness?”

Ferdinand smiled, “I could give you fourteen reasons.” Then he paused, considering as he watched Hubert. “Fifteen now, truly. You have proof enough that my love only stings and bleeds you dry.”

Hubert’s eyes widened at that. His hand slid weakly from Ferdinand’s grasp as he took a step back.

“See? You get it now too, darling. But unlike the others, you have the benefit of an eternal life to pursue whatever it is you desire.”

And then Ferdinand turned away and headed back towards the manor, the lilies of the valley in his path crushed under the weight of his footsteps. 

...

As Ferdinand reached the porch, he stopped at the stairs. He craned his head back, staring up at the manor that had been his home for the past millennia. It creaked and groaned as he walked up the steps, it too bearing the weight of such a long, long time.

Ferdinand opened the door and stepped inside. He had begun ascending the staircase to his bedroom when he heard a voice call out from down the hall.

“I was wondering how long you’d be out, Ferdinand."

Ferdinand scrambled back down the few steps he had climbed, barely managing not to trip over the last two. He dashed to the parlor, not bothering to move out of the way of the end tables lining the hall. Vases crashed to the ground in his wake, but his eyes were only focused forward. He hadn’t even realized that he’d been holding his breath until he had reached the entrance of the parlor, gasping as he saw who now sat in his chaise lounge.

Well, _her_ chaise lounge. 

He exhaled sharply, all the breath leaving his body as if he’d been struck.

Sitting in his parlor, silver hair pulled taut into a ponytail on the right side of her head, was his sire. Her red dress swallowed her tiny frame, billowing around her. Still, he felt miniscule under her gaze as she trained her eyes on him.

His voice cracked and sputtered. “E-Edelgard, w-what are you-” 

She raised a hand. “Don’t act so surprised.” 

And then Ferdinand realized that the loud thumps he had been hearing weren’t just the frantic sounds of his heart, but footsteps growing louder as they approached from behind him. 

_Dammit, Hubert_ , he thought, _you should have left by now_. The last thing he wanted to do was deal with the both of them at once. He couldn’t imagine explaining Edelgard to Hubert, or him to her. Not after everything that had already been said between them.

But it was too late. 

“Ferdinand, you fool, wait just one-” Hubert began as he finally made his way to the parlor. 

Edelgard sat up a little straighter in her chair when she caught sight of the raven-haired man, his shirt and gloves stained red with blood. Her body stiffened almost imperceptibly so. But Ferdinand still noticed, as he always did, and it set his heart beating at an even more alarming rate.

“Von Vestra… well isn’t this a surprise.”

Ferdinand turned, the shock on his face only deepening as he registered the lack of it on Hubert’s face.

“I didn’t expect _you_ to be the one he finally turned.”


	4. Now Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edelgard reminds Ferdinand of his past. Hubert makes him come to a decision about his future.

“You two... know each other? The words were slow and measured, contrasting the frantic way Ferdinand’s eyes shifted back and forth between Hubert and Edelgard. 

“One of you. _Answer_ me.”

Hubert stepped forward toward Ferdinand, stopping short when Ferdinand took a step back. Hubert’s stomach turned as he watched him. The wideness of his eyes and the traces of anger within them twisted and strangled Hubert’s insides.

Edelgard didn’t hesitate though, continuing to stride forward and take up position in front of Ferdinand. 

“Yes, Hubert assisted me in Enbarr not too long ago.”

Ferdinand’s nose crinkled. “ _Assisted?_ ”

“My plans required human assistance. Hubert accepted the job.”

“Plans for what, exactly?” Ferdinand asked. Hubert’s eyes trailed down to Ferdinand’s clenched fists at his sides.

Edelgard raised her head to meet Ferdinand’s gaze. Although devoid of the menace held in Ferdinand’s expression, her composed face did little to alleviate the heavy tension that had settled on Hubert’s shoulders since he had walked into the parlor moments before.

“Enbarr is much the same now as it was a millennia ago, Ferdinand.” She walked away, folding her arms together. The heels of her shoes thudded harshly against the wooden floor as she strode around the room. As she turned on her heels to face Ferdinand once again, the blunt rhythm was disrupted by the harsh scrape of her soles against the floor. “Its leaders still sometimes need a... push in the right direction.”

Ferdinand’s jaw strained as he clenched his teeth together.

Hubert stepped forward. “What she’s saying is true, Ferdinand. We both agreed that the situation was dire and required direct… intervention. So we worked together for a time to achieve that goal.”

Ferdinand’s hands unclenched at his side. But even released from the fist each of his fingers still curved harshly at the knuckle, poised to strike. When Ferdinand spoke, his eyes were still locked onto Edelgard.

“Are you sure that you were truly given an informed choice in the matter?”

Hubert raised an eyebrow. “What are you implying?”

“Did she offer you her protection?”

“Yes, but I knew I’d be assuming risks of my own. I was willing- am _still_ willing-to take those risks.”

Ferdinand’s jaw relaxed ever so slightly, his head cocking to the right just so, his gaze almost shifting fully to Hubert. But he recovered quickly, straightening his head, locking his eyes back onto the woman who stood before him.

“Did she offer you eternal life?”

“Yes. But I declined.”

Ferdinand laughed, harsh and sharp, the sound forcing the hair on the back of Hubert’s neck to stand at attention. Ferdinand pointed a finger at Edelgard, his nail inches away from her face. “I assume that when she offered you eternity for your sacrifice to her cause that she didn’t mention the casualties from her last plots. The ones she didn’t give a choice to..?”

Edelgard stepped forward. “I gave _him_ a choice when he became involved and he declined. I did no wrong by him Ferdinand. Although...” she cast a glance over her shoulder towards Hubert. “I suppose it was only a temporary refusal.”

Ferdinand shifted his finger to Hubert, still refusing to look at him. “Is that why he showed up half-dead at my doorstep, riddled with stab wounds and bleeding? He _declined_ so you sent him here so that you did not have to watch him die, then?”

“I simply told him that you were an ally and that he could retreat here in case the situation went awry.”

“' _In case_?' Do you not already have enough proof that things always go badly for the humans you drag into these plots?”

Edelgard sighed. “Are you still so angry with me about this? When we agreed to work together, we both accepted the possible ramifications!” Edelgard’s eyes widened, the reverberations of her voice still billowing in the room.

Her gaze drifted to her feet. She took a few steps towards Ferdinand, stopping a short distance away from him. She looked up to meet his eyes.

“I thought that you didn't deserve a punishment that steep, so I did what I could to mediate the consequences. I just... thought that you would eventually come to accept that, like Dorothea did.”

“That is because she loves you! She was mad for you even before everything went to hell and she willingly followed you back into it afterwards!” Ferdinand took a step back, his chest heaving, hand clenching the red-stained fabric of his shirt resting above his heart. “I hold no such affinity for you.” 

The silence hung still in the air until Ferdinand spoke again.

“And you _have_ to know that by now, which brings me to my next question. Why exactly are you here, Edelgard?” Ferdinand asked, his voice echoing through the room. “You have not hobbled here wounded, so what do you want me to heal for you? Your guilty conscience?”

Edelgard’s eyes narrowed.

“I felt it too, you know, when he stirred.” She folded her arms. “Despite all this time you'd spent as a vampire, you’d never turned anyone before. So when I felt the magic, the tendrils of the spell I used all those years ago sparking back to life… I rushed here to see what had happened. I wanted to know what finally changed your mind.”

Ferdinand took a step forward. "And now you've seen him for yourself. So leave."

Edelgard pinched the bridge of her nose. Her face crinkled as she glared, the mask she had worn before completely shattered. She began to pace, stomping around the room as if trying to crush any of the stray pieces of it that still littered the floor. “I want to reach out to you. To make amends!”

“I’ve been here for a millennia. That seems like plenty of time to have at least attempted that.”

“Ferdinand-”

"I am finished with this conversation. Leave." Ferdinand's head tilted down, his next words barely a whisper. "Both of you."

Hubert felt heat billowing within his chest; he wasn't finished. He hadn't come back to this manor to get sidelined again, to be overshadowed by another ghost of Ferdinand's past. Even if that ghost happened to be Edelgard.

“ _Ferdie._ ”

The single word cut through the thick tension that had settled over the parlor. Hubert gazed at both of them in turn. Edelgard raised an eyebrow at the nickname, but remained silent.

And Ferdinand. His lips were parted, mouth slightly open as his eyes finally locked with Hubert's. A silent battle waged between them, each daring the other to break the spell and look away first. 

Hubert wondered if Ferdinand realized that he couldn’t look away. Even as the tendrils of anger still burned in his core, their stray tips scraping against the underside of his heart... Hubert didn't want to look away from the flames that had burned him, had set him alight in the first place. Not when he could still feel the warmth from them.

“Ferdinand, I was determined to die as a human. I knew there was a high chance that I would if I followed Edelgard. And yes, I came here because of her, but that has nothing to do with why I stayed. I... didn’t know I wanted this life, not until I met you.” 

Hubert stepped forward. His soft, tentative steps echoing like a lilting breeze throughout the parlor. He raised a hand towards Ferdinand.

“I made the choice because of you.”

And like that, the spell was broken.

Ferdinand lunged forward, past Hubert and his outstretched hand, and out of the parlor. Loud thumps sounded and drifted further and further away as Ferdinand climbed the stairs. Hubert looked up, tilting his head and following the sounds across the ceiling. They stopped right above him in Ferdinand's - _their_ \- bedroom. The last sound Hubert heard was the loud thunk as the door was shut above him.

Hubert’s fists clenched at his side as his fangs dug into his lips. Ferdinand was running away from him again, drifting further and further into the distance. With each step Hubert saw the space between them fill slowly with a black haze, the faint silhouettes of the ghosts that haunted this manor flashing like brief bouts of lightning within the fog.

Some of the distance was necessary, Hubert knew. Ferdinand needed to recognize the blood on his hands for what it was. He needed to know that despite all of the evidence that proved otherwise, Hubert still had some dignity to maintain, some lines that couldn’t be crossed. But that didn’t mean that Hubert didn’t want to step to the edge as he waited for the right moment to reach across and pull Ferdinand over to his side again.

“He’s stubborn, isn’t he?” 

Hubert’s head jerked to the side, suddenly pulled from his reverie. Edelgard had sat back down on the chaise lounge, her lips pulled into a taut smile that struggled to push against her cheeks.

She leaned forward, resting her head against her hand. “He’s been like that since the moment I met him. Became even worse after I turned him.”

“I have the distinct impression that many things between you two became worse after you turned him.”

Edelgard sighed. “You wouldn’t be wrong, Hubert.”

“Then why wait all this time to talk to him..?”

“To be honest… I thought he had moved on.” Edelgard sat up straight before leaning back slightly. Her head lolled back, eyes searching the ceiling. “The last time I came here to try to talk to him, he was walking in the forest hand-in-hand with a woman. She was holding a bouquet of... lilies, I think. Sometimes it’s so difficult to remember the details from centuries ago. You'll learn soon enough.” A curt laugh escaped her before she continued. “I do remember the way she blushed as she gazed at him though. And then there was the time before that when I arrived to find him napping in the library with a man splayed in his lap, books spilling out everywhere around them...

“I thought he was happy, settled, and enjoying himself. He had decided to share at least a part of his life with those humans and I didn't want to interfere with that peace. But that’s also why I thought sending you here was best… I could trust him not to hurt you. Well, at least not any more than I suppose I did.”

“I made a choice, Lady Edelgard. I fully accept my decisions that led to its inevitable consequences.”

She sighed. “I don’t think he sees it quite the same way, Hubert. And I’m not quite sure that he ever will.” 

Hubert sighed. He imagined the chasm that had formed between Edelgard and Ferdinand after this almost impossible amount of time. It had to be dense and inky, preventing them from ever fully seeing the other. And although Ferdinand’s silhouette was murky behind the fog that had formed between him and Hubert that night… Hubert would rush into it regardless. He wouldn't let that distance continue to grow, even if it meant running through that haze forever without end.

“If you’ll excuse me, Lady Edelgard,” Hubert began, turning around from her and heading towards the door. “I have to speak with him.”

Edelgard closed her eyes. She stood up, rubbing her hands over her dress and straightening the fabric. “I think that would be for the best,” she replied. She walked over toward him, the thud of her heels echoing throughout the room. When she reached him, she gave his arm a tight squeeze.

“I shouldn’t have left you both alone.”

Hubert looked away from her as she stared at the floor. And even as his arm curled up, gloved hand resting against her own, his eyes still couldn’t find their way back to hers.

Hubert cleared his throat. “We weren’t alone, not for a while at least.” He gave her hand another squeeze before stepping forward and away from her. As he stepped into the hallway he craned his head back to look at the stairs ascending up into the manor. He sighed as he returned his gaze to the hallway, the fragments from the cracked vases still lining the floor.

Hubert began to walk down the corridor, the broken pieces of ancient ornaments crushed under the weight of his feet. He strode up the stairs, bound by a tether to the man that _had_ to be waiting for him. He thought he heard another sigh escape Edelgard, but the sound was soon replaced by the front door opening and closing behind her, the creaky groan contrasting with the booming thumps as Hubert’s feet hammered against each step and his heartbeat echoed in his ears.

**...**

When Ferdinand had run upstairs he had immediately gone to their - _his_ \- bedroom, shutting the door behind him before taking a seat on the bed. He sank into it, pulled further and further back until he gave in, lying down completely. He turned his head to the side, seeking more comfort from the plush sheets.

But what greeted him instead were the droplets of his blood from when he had given himself to Hubert earlier that evening, dulled crimson stains on the white sheets. All that had happened maybe an hour earlier, but it felt like a lifetime ago, even longer than those centuries he had spent waiting in this very spot so many times before.

The spell had finally worked for him and then his world fallen apart afterwards, the seams finally pulled too tight.

Hubert would leave, Ferdinand knew that. Hopefully Edelgard would too. 

And he would be alone again.

Ferdinand knew that he should move on, that he should find some other purpose that wasn’t as fruitless as love. _He could start a coup like Edelgard, control an empire from the shadows for years. And he would only step out of the darkness when he needed some poor sap to help him in the process. And then when the job was done, they’d get their reward: death through a lance to the chest or at the hands of one who claimed they loved you._

Ferdinand brought his hands to his face. He dug his clammy palms into his eyes, his skin slipping across his tears. His heart echoed loudly in his chest, its beating resounding throughout his body and shaking the bile that worked its way up his throat.

At least the burn took his mind off of everything else. 

_Off of the thudding sound that reverberated in his head as the soldiers’ footsteps closed in on the room where he hid. She had told him there was a chance that they’d find him there, after everything was done and through and Enbarr was thrust into better hands. He wanted the chance to give his life fully for something he believed in. So when the last few surrounded him, when the lance pierced his chest and stabbed through his heart, he had simply accepted it._

Ferdinand’s hands grasped at his chest, nails digging in deeper and deeper.

It was still there, still beating. It was always beating, always fluttering at the whisper of love. He knew, was _too_ aware of it. But he still had to check, still had to make sure the metal rod wasn’t still lodged in there.

_But Edelgard made sure it would always beat._

She had found him not long after. The soldiers, the last remnants of the old order they had destroyed, had been reduced to corpses that littered the floor at her feet. At some point she had brought her fingers wet with Ferdinand's blood to her lips, had crossed the line that he had drawn. And then she had shone through the fog and Ferdinand saw her there, hovering over his body. He couldn't look away, couldn't tear his eyes from the specter. And so he had been pulled back into life.

But he wasn’t any better; he had ruined his fair share of human lives too.

Ferdinand couldn’t be bothered to try to stymie the tears now. Not even when he heard the soft knocks at the door. He waited to hear the footsteps retreat, but instead more knocks beat against the door.

“Enough, Edelgard! Please be on your way and leave!”

A moment later the door opened, groaning on its hinges. Ferdinand rolled over onto his side, turning away from the it. Slowly, footsteps sounded, dulling as they reached the plush rug that lined the bed. Ferdinand felt a weight settle next to him. The bed creaked as the body shifted from sitting on the bed to lying down next to him.

A tentative hand traced over his shoulder, a featherlight touch that eventually moved to the locks of hair that had fallen in front of his face. The hand lightly gathered the locks, the fabric covering it lightly brushing against the skin at the curve of Ferdinand’s cheeks. The gloved hands pushed the locks behind Ferdinand’s ear.

Ferdinand rolled over, finally meeting Hubert’s eyes once again. Well, one of them at least. The other was covered by the sprout of waves that Hubert always let hang in front of his face. So Ferdinand returned the favor, pushing them back and behind Hubert’s ear.

Their eyes met.

“You shouldn’t be here. You’re free to do what you wish now.”

“I think it's clear that I want to be with you.”

“You have a chance to do anything you’d like, go anywhere you want now. Why stay here after I’ve hurt you so much?”

Hubert pushed forward, closing the short distance between them. His lips pressed softly against Ferdinand’s. Something so soft after all this felt undeserved to Ferdinand. But still, he returned the sweet pressure.

Hubert’s lips retreated, but he stayed close. “I don’t plan on staying here.”

For once, Ferdinand’s heart felt like it finally stopped; he smiled.

Ferdinand raised his hand, resting it against Hubert’s cheek. His thumb rolled over the sharp edges. He closed his eyes for a moment, committing the shapes to memory. Sometimes it was hard for him to make out the details of their faces. He wanted to buy himself a bit more time with Hubert.

Ferdinand opened his eyes to find Hubert’s closed, his lips slightly parted, the tips of his fangs visible. Hubert’s eyes fluttered open when Ferdinand pulled his hand away. Ferdinand was grateful for the way his crinkling eyes could stop some of the rebel tears from spilling onto his cheeks. “I am glad to hear that you are making the correct decision.”

One corner of Hubert’s lips curved upward before stray chuckles escaped between his parted lips.

“Yes, because you’re coming with me.”

Ferdinand pushed himself up onto his elbow. “I’m trying to do what’s best for you Hubert!” He raised his free hand to his forehead, grasping and tangling his fingers in the hair that slipped forward to caress his face.

Hubert turned onto his back, folding his hands on his stomach as he looked up at Ferdinand. “So, you think that pushing me away and running me out of this place is what’s best for me when I’ve told you repeatedly that’s not what I want? For all your talk of manners you haven't even offered an apology.”

“If you want to hear, ‘I’m sorry,’ then there you have it. But that cannot possibly make up for any of this.” He lowered his hand back onto the bed, his pale skin bright against the dry blood stains.

“It doesn’t,” Hubert cocked his head to the side. “Not fully, at least. But it’s a start.”

Ferdinand’s head fell forward. “This is… it should end here.”

“Is that why you kissed me back earlier? Because this is _over_ to you?”

Ferdinand paused, his words catching in his throat.

Hubert sat back up, his face stopping just before Ferdinand’s. “Leave this place with me. Leave Edelgard, leave these ghosts _here._ ” He leaned in even closer, his breath tickling Ferdinand’s skin as he spoke. “If you think yourself so awful for everything that's happened here, for the graveyard, for _me_ , then your choice is simple: repent. Spend eternity making it up to me.”

Hubert’s hand wove into Ferdinand’s hair, his fingers curling around the ginger locks until they found the nape of Ferdinand’s neck. He pulled Ferdinand closer, their lips brushing together as he spoke.

“I chose eternity for you.”

The fingers at the back of Ferdinand’s neck slackened, pulling away ever so slightly.

“Will you choose it for me, Ferdie?”

Ferdinand stared into Hubert’s eyes. His vision unfocused, obscured by tears and drowning in crimson.

Ferdinand raised his hand, his fingernails gliding across the sensitive flesh on Hubert’s neck. That familiar shudder worked its way through Hubert’s body at just the slightest touch. It reverberated through Ferdinand too, the chill and warmth, the familiar memories shared in this bed that were so similar and yet so, so different from this moment.

_He doesn’t deserve this._

“Alright.”

Hubert’s hand twitched against Ferdinand’s neck.

“We will leave. Together.”

Ferdinand felt Hubert’s lips curl against his own before they pressed down, hard. He fell back, pulling Ferdinand down with him. They pressed against each other, their bodies melding together as their kiss deepened.

_I don’t deserve this._

Ferdinand’s tears continued to roll down his cheeks, sadness mingling in with the tickling sensation that bubbled and stirred in his chest.

And maybe it would take years, or decades, or centuries for that feeling to dissipate, for Ferdinand to feel like he could claim even the smallest piece of Hubert’s heart as his again, after everything. To think that he could hate himself a little less for the bodies in the graveyard, the ghosts that circled the halls of this manor.

But Ferdinand was used to waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading through this! My first multichapter fic is now complete.
> 
> Wanted to leave this one on a more melancholic note. These two still have a lot to work through obviously, but I think it's nice to know that even after you've messed up there can still be that hope of forgiveness, from others and from yourself. At least that's what I was going for haha
> 
> Anyway I'm on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Catatune) if you want to chat, although fair warning I post a lot more art than fic.


End file.
